Plan Number A: Fall in Love
by Serendipity Princess
Summary: Hao is trying his hardest to make Anna Kyoyama fall in love with him, and it's just not working! Will he win her heat with the help of the Hanagumi, Opacho, and the rest of the gang? Erm, well, he can try...
1. Plan A: Ask a simple question

Wow, I have wanted to do this forever, and now I finally get around to it! the fact is, I always place Ren on the recieving end of my jokes in my Shaman King fanfiction. But not this time! Now it's HAO'S TURN to look stupid! Mwuhahaha. Disclaimer, please, Hanagumi!  
Mari: Oh, Mari wants to disclaim!  
Macchi: NO! I WANT TO!  
Kanna: While you two are fighting...Serendipity Princess does not own, has never owned, and will never own Shaman King.  
Mari and Macchi: (tears) WE WANTED TO DISCLAIM!

* * *

Whoever said bad things came in threes was lying.

Either that or they had never met the Asakura twins.

Anna knew that the Asakuras were bad news. She could just feel it. But she was drawn to them. And they were drawn to her.

Since she couldn't avoid them, she had learned to deal with them, and in her own way, loved them both. They both loved her back, too. (Or at least, they thought they did.)

So that's what Anna was thinking when she left the house that morning. Hehe.

"Bye, Yoh!" she called to her fiancé as she walked out.

"Bye, Anna! Have fun!" Yoh yelled back as he walked to his room. With Anna gone, he could change back into his pajamas and lounge all day.

"Ah, the smell of summer!" Anna smiled as she walked down the side walk. "Fresh cut grass and …smoke?"

"Close." a boy sitting on a branch above her mused. "I guess Spirit of Fire and smoke smell similar."

Oh, right. Let me introduce myself. I'm Asakura Hao, and I'm the boy on the branch above Anna. I'm also the current Shaman King. My original plan when I became Shaman King was to rid the world of humans, but that can wait. Now I've just got to get Anna to be my Shaman Queen! Normally, if I like a girl, its one that is easily attainable. Not one for challenges, me. But no! this reincarnation, I had to fall in love with the one and only ICE QUEEN! Kyoyama Anna. And, as if that isn't bad enough, you know, she's also kind of engaged to my twin brother.

Honestly, what does she see in him? I mean, sure, he's nice looking. But I'm better looking! Well, we're identical twins, so we are pretty equal on the hotness scale. Except my hair is more luscious. Honestly.

Yoh's also laid-back, but so am I! (As laid back as the ruler of the Shamanic world can be, you know.) We have pretty much the same personality, so that can't be it. Oh well. I'm not going to get into this now. I have to find a way to make Anna fall in love with me. SO. I guess I should formulate a plan, right? Yes. A plan….plan A….

PLAN A: Ask the Time!

I'm sitting on a bench in the park, wearing a navy suit and a fake mustache. The fake mustache might be overkill, but if I'm going to go through with a plot, I'm going to do it correctly! Oh, yes. I check my watch. It's five minutes until Anna should be here. Dum dee dum, I'm getting bored. Even if I am the Shaman King, I'm still only a thirteen year old boy. Which means I have the attention span of a thirteen year old boy. Maybe I should read the comics? That'll work.

Wait. Where's Opacho? Oh, there she is! I forgot I told Hanagumi to watch her. Heh heh, this should be funny. Maybe I'll just watch them until Anna gets here.

After several minutes of laughing over Kanna, Macchi, and Mari trying to deal with a sugar-high Opacho, Anna walks by.

I was so busy watching the Hanagumi, I almost didn't notice! What am I supposed to do? Oh! Right! So I jump up from the bench.

"Erm, excuse me, ma'am!" I tap Anna on the shoulder. "May I bother you for the time?"

"Oh! Sure! It's-" Anna was cut off by Mari walking up with Opacho.

"Master Hao! Are you wearing a fake mustache? Mari doesn't like it! Mari thinks it looks like a lemming on your face!" Mari looked at me, appalled.

"Hao?" Anna glared at me for a moment, before reaching out and…ripping off my fake mustache.

"OW! I think you took what little facial hair I had (and possibly a layer of skin) with that, Anna!" I cry, nursing my wound and my wounded pride.

"Get over it!" Anna walks off.

Ugh. Now my minions are laughing at me! It is absolutely NOT funny to have a fake mustache ripped off of you by the object of your affection. Macchi is trying to explain that they're not laughing at me, they're laughing WITH me. But I'm not laughing, so I don't see how that's possible. Whatever.

Apparently, my plan A was a failure. That's okay! I have plenty more plans! And you, bystander, will be the first to know!

Wow, now I feel awful. No one will listen to me except some awful bystander. Not that you're awful, filthy human! I just detest your entire race! I mean, uh, please don't hurt me? And don't tell anybody else!

Eh, why do I need to speak into that microphone? Is it a lie detector? And why are you posting this on you tube? Filthy human? Fil-HEY! Don't ignore me! I want to know why I needed to admit that I was a failure into the microphone! And why do you look suspiciously like Oyamada Manta? Aren't you one of my- DEAR HEAVEN! WHY IS THIS BEING BROADCAST ON PUBLIC TELEVISION?? HOW MUCH DID YOU GET ON TAPE?

Now the entire world can see my fake mustache being ripped off! This is great, just great! Honestly, can't a Shaman King get an ounce of privacy around here? Who's tapping me on my shoulder? CBS news? What? I AM NOT GOING TO BE INTERVIEWED ABOUT MY LACK OF A LOVE LIFE!!!!

I mark Plan A off the list. On to plan B! Hmm. Maybe tomorrow. After these people forget about this little incident…and these men in white coats let me out of this rubbery padded room.

* * *

COMING SOON: 

Plan B: Birthdays and baggage checks!

Well, that's all for this chapter! Dedicated to my friends Lindzie and Maegan...who are still fighting over who gets to be Yoh when we do our own dubbing of Shaman King.  
Also, to my other friends:

Molly: So, apparently Jesus really loves Tao Jun...(reference to her, um, chest)  
Lyndsey: No, genes love Tao Jun.  
Kelsea: Haven't we been through this with Dolly Parton?  
Serendipity: No, that's plastic surgeons...


	2. Plan B: The Birthday Gift

Ahem! I'm really sorry this is late and not as good as I'd like! I've beenugged all over Georgia, and it's getting to me. Please forgive me, and I pomise the next ones will be better! In fact, I'll even upload an AnnaxHao oneshot type thing that I have already typed! Now, let us move to the story: After these messages!

Tao Ren: Okay, the poor girl doesn't own Shaman King, Shoney's, or the concept of a free birthday dessert. Yaya, go have a party!

* * *

Plan B: Birthdays and Baggage Checks!!

Hello! I'm Hao Asakura. Remember me from last chapter, where Anna ripped off my fake mustache, I got sent to a mental institute, and the Hanagumi watched Opacho? Well, I'm still after Anna, even if my facial hair has suffered…and my face…and…well, let's not go there. But here I am today, to bring you plan B! The only problem is, I don't have a plan B yet.

But since I'm so smart and cunning, I should have a plan B soon, right? Sure. You would think, but I have had a week to plan, and I have nothing! Plus, to make matters worse, Anna's coming to the restaurant I'm currently at in THIRTY minutes! (Don't ask how I know, I just do. And it has nothing to do with the extra wires attached to her telephone and TV set. Nothing, got it?)

Alright. I've got to get a plan quick! Think, Hao! THINK! Hmm…should it involve barbed wire? No. Too hard to get into a restaurant. Think, think, think…erm…birthday…birthday…birthday. Yes, that's good. Why didn't I think of that first?

So, I run into the kitchen and steal one of the waiter's outfits! It doesn't fit well, but it'll do. Now, I grab one of the free desserts you give someone when it's their birthday. You all know what I'm talking about, the hot fudge sundaes at Shoney's, stuff like that. I'm making this up as I go, though, so after this part, I'm at a blank.

Oh, here she comes! Did it take me that long to steal a waiter's outfit? I need to train more…but what kind of training helps me with ripping clothes off of people? Haha, I know what that could be useful for…whoa. She doesn't even like me yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Hao. Hmm. Pleasant Thoughts. Yeah. Oops. Wow, got off topic, huh? And you probably didn't really need to know what I was thinking about Anna…but I guess it's too late to kill you, because I'm supposed to be seating her.

Oh! That means I have to take her to her table! Yes! Am I good or what? Haha! YES! Erm, yeah.

I walk up to her. "Hello, ma'am" I say, smiling.

"Table for one, please…" she replies, looking around.

"Smoking or non?" Er, that's what they normally say, right? Yeah.

"Do I look old enough to smoke?" Anna glares at me.

"No, ma'am. But it's standard procedure to ask. I might lose my job if I don't."

"That's odd. Well, at least you're actually doing your job, unlike a certain boy I know. He's supposed to do things, but he never does. He just stalks me." She scanned the restaurant exaggeratedly. "You never know where he'll turn up next!"

Okay, I have to admit. That hurt. Very badly. But I take it all in stride, and just laugh.

"Ha, I wish I knew girls like that!" I joke, grinning.

"Haha, doesn't every guy wish that?" she replies as I lead her to her table.

"Oh yes! We all wish that, but very few of us ever actually get stalkers." I chuckle.

"Oh, yes. It seems we females are less likely to be psychopathic than you gender." Anna smirked.

"How do you figure that? I know a very psychopathic female!" I say, referring to her.

"Well, whatever."

"Oh, yes, we're at your table now." I hand her a menu.

"Thanks." she hands the menu back. "But I know what I want. I'd like the spaghetti, and sweet tea."

"Sure." I jot that down( looking very professional) and walk off.

When I bring it to her, I glance around, making sure that the rest of Yoh's friends have not suddenly decided to hide under the table or something equally odd.

They haven't, much to my relief. So now, I can bring out the desert and convince her that a complimentary kiss comes with it! Right? Am I good, or am I good?

I walk out to her table carrying the dessert. "Here you go ma'am, your free birthday dessert!"

"Oh…okay. How'd you know today was my birthday?" she looks at me, confused.

"Um, that man over there told me!" I say, flinging out my arm and pointing at a random man across the room.

"Oh, okay." That seems to appease her.

"So, do you want the rest of the gift?" I ask nonchalantly.

"Uh, sure," she replies.

"Good. Now close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Because it's a SURPRISE GIFT!"

"I don't want a surprise gift."

"JUST DO IT!"

"NO!"

People are gathering around us now. They're all either rooting for me or Anna, but I don't know which. Uh oh. Is that Tao Ren? Because he can get in the way of my plan. Actually, anybody in that group can. I think Anna is getting suspicious now. I wonder why? I'm even wearing a wig! Aren't I? I was! Where is it? Oh, there it is. In Anna's hand.

"Hao, " she begins.

"Um, yes, Anna?"

"I knew it was you."

"And…"

"I overheard you talking to yourself."

"So?"

"YOU WERE GOING TO TRY TO KISS ME!!" she screams. "I'm engaged!!"

"But you're engaged to me…"

"Okay, look." she glares at me quite evilly. "You are not Yoh. Yoh is not you. Even if he is part of you, and your twin, and your descendant, he is different. He would never fall in love with me just because he's jealous."

"But-But-But Anna,"

"No buts, got it?"

"BUT!"

SMACK. The sound of Anna's shoe hitting my face. It's not a very pleasing sound, honestly.

And do you know what the worst part of her rejections are? Not the beatings….not the humiliation, either.

It's the fact that we can't even be "just friends."

Ah well. I guess I'll just work on Plan "C."

Next chapter: The last pointless plot!!! I get smarter and sneakier! And lose an earring.

* * *

I'd like to thank/dedicate this chapter to Setsumi-san. Love your writing, thanks for reviewing!

Also, a quote from my best friend:

It doesn't matter if we don't have perfect poofy long hair. Just wait until all the girls with perfect hair get their hair caugh in a blender! Then what'll thy do? Huh?


	3. Plan C: Curtain Call

_Serendipity_: Well, this chapter is being posted now because on Tuesday, I am driving 200 miles to see the Naruto movie premiere in Birmingham, Alabama. Well, not me personally since I'm only 14...  
_Ren:_ Get on to the story! They don't care about your Birmingham excursions!  
_Serendipity: _But they might be going, too! Anyway! Here...(hands Ren script)  
_Ren_: Serendipity Princess does not own Naruto, Michael Jackson...Is this right?  
_Serendipity:_ Oops, wrong script! Here!  
_Ren_: This girl with the long screen name doesn't own...Shaman King, Nelly Furtado, Chicken Noodle Soup, Target..or the color plaid...Plaid isn't a color...  
_Serendipity_: Is this your stoy or mine?  
_Ren_:...whatever. Now read, foolish humans!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Plan the C.

Yup, I'm back! Asakura Hao, at your service! To bring you up to date on my plans to seduce Kyoyama Anna, here's a quick review.

1.) Asked Anna the time while wearing fake mustache.

2.)Got fake mustache, facial hair, and layer of skin removed by Anna.

3.) Tried to kiss Anna in middle of Shoney's

4.) Got thrown out of Shoney's by Anna.

4.) Got kicked in face by Anna

So, after going through all of that, you probably wonder why I am still pursuing her. Honestly, I do not know myself. So I can't answer you there. Mari says I'm in love. Macchi says I'm jealous. Kanna says I must've been hit on the head during the Shaman Fight. So pick one of those answers, or make up your own. I don't really care. Right now, I'm more concerned with my Plan number C. Er, Plan C.

I've been planning this one since I met her. I never thought I'd actually have to resort to it, but here I go. If you haven't noticed, I like my plans to be orderly, so each plan corresponds with its letter. Today's plan involves curtains.

-

So here I am, hiding in Target. There's a sale on curtains, and Anna, always wanting the best price, is here too. She's dragged Tamao and Pirika along, though, so I need to get her alone. Hmm. This could be harder than I expected.

Wait-this is why I have minions! They can help with the plan, right? Quick! To find the Hanagumi! By now, you're probably wondering why I use the Hanagumi's help a lot in these plots. I was wondering that myself, until I realized that I thought, since they were girls, they would know more about Anna's brain than I do. I have now realized that is probably not true, since I no longer believe anyone knows much about Anna. But still, with their help, I've gotten closer to Anna than I have since she brought Yoh the Ultra Senji Ryakketsu. And I have better pictures for my Anna Shrine!

Moving On!

"Mari, Macchi, Kanna…" I begin, whispering as the love of my life walks by, talking and laughing with her friends.

"Let Mari guess." Mari grins evilly. "Master Hao wants Mari, Macchi, and Kanna to help him with a plot he has formulated. And the plot involves Anna."

"That would be correct." I smile goofily. "Now, here's the plan…"

When I finish explaining, they look at me for a moment as if I have sprouted an extra head. (And possibly a pair of wings.)

"Huh?" Kanna asks, dumbfounded.

"You want Mari to do WHAT?" Mari shrieks.

"And me to hide WHERE?"

I quickly shush them and re-explain my plan. Apparently it still doesn't make sense, so I just tell them to go distract Tamao and Pirika by any means possible.

However, when I told them that a few seconds ago, I didn't think that their plan to distract them would involve tomatoes, a Nelly Furtado CD, six cans of chicken noodle soup, and an inflatable dinosaur.

But I have to admit, it is very distracting. So I sneak through the chaos and hide behind a nice plaid curtain. When Anna walks by, I can simply grab her and drag her behind the curtain, then run off with her!

"Pirika, Tamao, come on!" a familiar voice calls from very near me. "I don't care if they threatened to kill you if you didn't come up with a dance routine involving tomato juggling, swimming in chicken noodle soup and-what was the other thing?"

"Um, riding this inflatable T-Rex." Pirika replies.

"Riding that inflatable T-Rex." Anna finishes. "So hurry up. They're on Hao's side…so I bet he's around here!"

"Master Yoh will be angry if he hurts you, Lady Anna!" Tamao whispers. "So you shouldn't worry."

"Heh. I can take care of myself. But Hao's plans take my valuable time." Anna replies. She's right beside me now!

I jump out from behind the curtain. "I've got you now Anna! Ow, ow! My ear!" Apparently, wearing long earrings while jumping out from behind curtains was NOT a smart idea. I am now kind of stuck to the curtain.

"Hahahahahaha!" Anna is laughing so hard that she's turning red. She's even cuter when she's laughing! I just wish it wasn't directed at me. "Here."

She leans in and unhooks my earring.

"Thanks." I mumble, blushing.

"No problem. Now leave." Anna points in the direction of the door.

"Yes ma'am." I trudge towards the door, and I almost reach it before realizing Anna hasn't punched me yet! I wonder what's wrong with her? I turn around.

Anna is holding a wallet and laughing. I pat my pockets frantically. I'm missing a wallet. Missing wallet…Anna holding wallet…oh crap! That girl pick pocketed me!

Well, I can't say she's not sneaky. It just makes me want to marry her more, though.

"Um, Anna?" I ask politely. "May I please have my wallet back now?"

"Why would I give it back to you?" Anna smirks. "You'll just have to get it back in your next plot. Plan, um, what letter are you on?"

"Plan D."

"Get it back during plan D, then. Until then, I plan on using your credit cards. And have a nice walk! I've got your driver's license!"

Darn that girl. But hey, I've always got next chapter, right?

And you're not holding a video camera this time, are you? Good. Hmm? Yes, I realize we're in a mall! And yes, I know there are security cameras. Why, no! I didn't know you could buy the security tapes if nothing happened during them. Why is that important? No reason? Oh, okay. See you later, bystanders! Until next plot!

Next time: Plan D:

In which I no longer wear long earrings, I get my wallet back, and Horohoro tap dances.

* * *

Thanks to al the reviwers so far! Due to requests, I will probably write a sequel to "Promises an Pancake Syrup."

Quote of the fic:

"Hey, you have reached my voicemail! Call me back! Wait no, I screwed up that message! LEave a message, don't call me back! Sorry! Some guy just walked through my yard!"


	4. Plan D: Double Time

Hey-ya! It's me, Serendipity! Sorry it took so long to update! I was kind of at a Youth Camp I kinda forgot about. Yeah. And then, well, a giant cactus attacked my rooftop, and a cat  
Edward Elric: Liar...you were watching Conqueror of Shambala and crying.  
Serendipity: Erm...that too. But I did have a cold...  
Edward: And you had links to RoyxRiza fanfiction...  
Serendipity: Shut up, Ed. Why are you even here?  
Ed: Um...I dunno! Can I disclaim? SERENDIPITY DOESN'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT HOROHORO'S (hehe, funny name) TAP DANCING SCHOOL! AND SHE THINKS I'M SEXY!  
Serendipity: (laughs nervously) Well, time for you to go Ed...on to the story!

* * *

Plan D: Double Time!

Hey, all you loyal minions! Erm, readers. I mean readers! Sure. Anyways, it's me again! Asakura Hao, the one and only powerful, hot (at least I like to think so), and still Anna-less Shaman King. Yep. Lots of things have happened since we began, so let's get you up to speed! OPACHO! THE LIST!

Oh, wait. I have the list. Haha. Oops. Here it is, then:

1.) Applejacks…

Oh, this is the grocery list. Who eats APPLEJACKS around here anyway? Is this even MY grocery list? Anyway…let me get the real list. Hmm. I'm digging through my desk right now. World Domination in 10 easy steps? No. Unpaid bills? No, but that explains why they shut off my lights, my water, and towed my brand new electric car. Fanfictions? Um, you didn't need to know I read those…RenxPirika ones, especially… Anna's house key? Useful, but no.

This is getting out of hand! Just read the previous chapters…or write your own notes. Let's just move along to today's plot.

---

I'm currently on my way to the mall, which is also where my last encounter with Anna was. I'm not going there because there's a high probability I'll bump into her either. No, I am getting a MAKEOVER! Mari and Macchi suggested this last night, and I have to agree it is probably the best idea any of my minions have had. The problem is, it's a one-shot in the dark chance…and if it doesn't work, I'm out of luck.

Oh, here I am. Right. I'm hyperventilating. Deep breaths, in…out…in…out…good. This is it. I'm walking in to the…hair salon! Right.

"Shoulder length and choppy, please." I say to the stylist.

"Right! It'll look just like the picture you showed me! I promise!" and she begins snipping and chopping at my beautiful hair.

30 minutes later, I see that her promise was well-kept. I now look exactly like Yoh…except for the freaky orange headphones…and the clothes. But why? Why? Well, I've come this far, and I don't want having my luscious hair cut off to be for nothing. Pretty pretty luscious hair…um, sorry about that. I was just a bit attached to my hair. Okay…I'm pulling off my earrings. I'm throwing them in the trash can. Now all that leaves is…the chaps and the cloak. Oh, and I don't have a bear claw necklace. Or freakishly orange headphones.

Well…I guess my next stop should be the Levi jeans store, where Macchi is waiting to help me pick the perfect pair of jeans. I told her I could pick a pair, but she told me I'd pick the wrong kind! THE NERVE! I should kill her…except for the fact that she's right. So. I'm passing all of these stores that sell jeans right now! How come I can't get some of these? I mean, these black Hollister jeans are AWESOME! Oh, right. Yoh doesn't wear this kind. So…ooh, those earrings are also very nice. VERY nice. Uh oh, there's Anna!

"Hey Anna!" I say, walking by nonchalantly.

"Hey, Yoh!" She replies, obviously judging my identity by my hair. "Wait…"

"Um, yeah?" I ask nervously. I'm not wearing my chaps or cape, but the jeans are different than Yoh's normal attire.

"When'd you get the new jeans?" She asks suspiciously.

"A few minutes ago. I'm testing them out. What do you think?" I'm thinking quickly.

"I like them. You should wear them more often." She turns to walk off. "By the way, Horohoro asked if you'd pick him up from tap school. He's been rehearsing for his big musical all week. It's this Friday. Oh, and Ren says that if Jun calls, you haven't seen him, even if you have."

"Got it. Haven't seen Ren, pick up Horo." I reply. "See you later!"

"See you!"

Whew. I'm calling Macchi. Huh? My phone's ringing!

"Hello?"

"Hey, Boss! It's me, Macchi! Anna just walked in! Do you want Mari and Kanna to chase her out or something?"

"Oh, I was just about to call you, Macchi! I don't need the jeans. Anna's not suspicious at all!"

"Oh, good! It's great to hear that Anna's not suspicious!" Macchi sighs with relief.

Suddenly, I hear Anna in the background. "Suspicious of WHAT, exactly?"

"Um, nothing, Anna!" Macchi laughs nervously. "Just, um, that Master Hao was planning a surprise party for your birthday. Yeah."

"I was? Oh, I was!" I exclaim.

"But it's not a secret anymore. It's just a party." Anna says.

"So? Everyone loves parties!" Macchi tells her impertinently. "Nyah."

"I don't…" is Anna's impatient reply. "But whatever. All I have to say is if a certain male Shaman King is planning a party for me, it better be an expensive one."

"Right…yes, Anna!" I chuckle nervously. "It'll be expensive….haha!" Whew. She doesn't suspect anything. But now I've somehow got to pick up Horohoro and hide Ren and plan a party AND steal Anna's heart!

What is a brilliant(stunning, etc.) Shaman King to do?

* * *

Sorry if this chapter wasn't thrilling, I've been gone, then I got sick, and, as said earlier, I was a bit lazy. The plot of this chapter IS important, though. So be forewarned...be forewarned!

But anyway, here's the end quote:

No, mom! He's GERMANESE! -Ty

Thanks to SKManiacLuvsHao-sama (did I get that right?) for all her reviews!


End file.
